In my bundle of Portsmouth programmes I acquired today, was one from Pompey vs Arsenal. Oh goody. Maybe there'll be nice Freddie/Cesc/Thierry ness

I haven't got that far yet...

Guess who the Poster is of? (Yes, I know I'm too old for posters!)
Guess who there is a nice article about?

Yes, I made that noise too.

Here's the article, although it doesn't tell you much. We need to know what he likes for breakfast dinner and where he goes to socialize. (Very important!)

Pedro Miguel da Silva Mendes began his career with Portuguese Second Division side FC Felgueira. His exceptional talents as a tireless box-to-box midfielder soon became apparent and he was selected for his National side at youth level. A step up the ladder at club level followed as he was signed by his hometown club Vitoria Guimaraes in the Portuguese Superliga for the 1999/2000 season. Mendes improved season upon season and was instrumental in 2002/03 as he helped his modest club to Portuguese Super Cup glory and a fifth place finish in the league. His form earned him a call-up to the full Portugal squad, and he made his debut against Scotland in December 2002.

It's a good thing that "Mr Mendes" is sufficient. Can you imagine if we had to reel that off everytime we needed to talk about him? (a lot.)

By this time one of the most highly rated midfielders in Portugal,
Mendes was snapped up by Jose Mourinho for FC Porto in July 2003 where he played a key role in attaining the Portuguese title, Portuguese cup and of course the UEFA Champions League.

Poor thing, Having to be managed by Moany Jose.. It gets worse too.

On the back of such a spectacular season, T*tt*nh*m were moved to splash £2million on the central midfielder in July 2004 prompting then Sporting Director, Frank Arnesen to say: "It is an excellent deal for us because Pedro gives us more options in midfield and brings with him experience in European competition. He has a well deserved reputation on the continent and we are delighted to have added him to our squad."

Thankfully Sp*rs didn't appreciate him.

Mendes describes himself as a versatile midfield man: "I'm a central midfielder defensive and attacking - I like to think I'm quite an all-round midfielder." And he is perhaps most famous amongst English football fans for scoring the spectacular 'goal that wasn't' from the halfway line against Manchester United's Roy Carroll last season.

That's funny. I'd describe him as a beautiful lovely mmmm.. etc etc. Especially when he's wet. or when he talks. Or, when he talks while he's dripping wet.

However, he has again since proved himself adept at shooting from range with two memorable strikes against Manchester City, and one against West Ham last month.

So obviously the best programme is the vs Arsenal matchday programme. Nothing can compare now

Well we kind of knew that as most of his body is tattoo'd with the names of his children.

So where exactly did the "fast and furious" state emerge from? hmmmm?

"My ultimate dream is to finish off my playing years with my brother Paolo at Napoli, forging a family central defensive partnership."

Bless him. We'll forgive him for wanting his team to play like Chelsea last weekend then.

With his bulging biceps and tree trunk legs, the 20-year-old Nadal is the sport's most imposing physical specimen, but he sure isn't feeling like it these days.

"I had a lot of matches in the first half of the season and my muscles were very tired," Nadal said. "Mentally, too ... it was a big effort. (But) I am playing better now."

Yes yes, he rang me up today just to say that. Honest. I think he was dropping hints.

Poor thing, Once he gets back on form, I may actually care about Tennis just.. slightly

Oh, here you can see a pic of him in his underwear.

Full article about his bad form, here

Mmmm If Argentina really do this, Then there will be a small problem..

Australia-based Gabriel Batistuta admits he fancies the Argentina national coaching job.

So he wants to leave Australia..? I guess Argentina is just as far away then. I miss his late night visits so much

The small problem is of course that Argentina will be the only team EVER where the only fit person doing anything is the coach.

And of course, the fact that once you get sacked from being your own national coach, your life is never the same again..

DON’T DO IT BATI! Argentina are dull! Go manage Sweden instead, (Cos you wouldn’t send players home for missing their bedtime).

I can't help it. I'm looking for one of the "offensive anti-Materazzi T-shirts" which thousands of French fans apparently wore to the France-Italy Euro 2008 qualifier. (I'd have loved to have been at that game!)

I still haven't found it, but I did find a tasty quote from a tasty man:

‘When I see this, I want to smash his face’.

- That's William Gallas on Materazzi

What a yummypants.

So's Zizou, of course. According to this blog, Materazzi had been seen twisting Zidane's nipples earlier on in the game! Nasty!

That's not what I'd do upon encountering Zizou's nipples, of course

That is for nipple content. This is for fast and furious death content.

I love him

So, can anybody get me that T shirt?!

God bless, Jenni xx

Original news item here.

Newcastle midfielder Kieron Dyer will be out of action for at least two weeks after a freak training ground accident.

Talk about a good hook! Shame we don’t actually know what the freak accident was..

Poor Kieron has been out with injuries for ages, and made his comeback for Newcastle in the week during the rainstorm against Portsmouth.

That match lacked a dripping wet Pedro Mendes..

...

Oh yes we were talking about Kieron!

"Kieron took a knock to his left eye on Friday morning in what can only be described as a freak accident.” Glenn Roeder.

And they made it sound so exciting (not in a good way! I'm just curious as to what happened!) Maybe we’ll get more details tomorrow.

The Queen didn't want to come to the Emirates then.

Too many pictures of Arsene and the Duke of Edinburgh for my liking. Come on camera people, where are the close up shots of Cesc and Alex and RVP?

Oh well..

OOOH a video!

A while back there was a story, although obviously exaggerated and sensationalised because it came out of Cashley Fuck-tosser Cole’s ass. (sorry).

Cole says in his autobiography My Defence: "Robin van Persie spoke up at training about Freddie Ljungberg. 'He doesn't even talk to me. Why doesn't he talk to me?'"

I would love to tear Cashley’s book apart (literally) but that would require me touching it. So I’ll resist for now.

Anyway. Just because Freddie and RVP may not socialize together or give each other high fives everytime they’re within 10 yards of each other, doesn’t mean they “Can’t Stand” each other (Silly Evening Standard).

Now for the last week, Poor Robin has been “hated” by Thierry Henry if the Mirror is anything to go by.

It’s not.

Just because Henry lost his cool a bit during the CSKA game when RVP carelessly wasted a chance on goal is not grounds for hatred.

Frustration, yes. Wishing the other would rot in hell, no.

I bet they’ll be giving each other their last Rolo again soon enough.

Actually, they probably already have. I’ll have to test this out..

What setback!?

After Freddie limped off during Sweden’s win against Spain a couple weeks back, according to my calculations then, he should’ve been fit to play yesterday.. but no..

Still another 3 weeks of no Freddieness..

I tried my best.. but being Freddie’s personal masseuse isn’t an easy job you know..!

I’ve just had a 10 minute giggle over these 2 articles, here and here.

Quite pleasant reads actually. Except Alex Hleb is in the wrong one!

When Alexander Hleb's footballing skills were described as 'rancid' on F365, we received a trickle of complaints. Not a torrent of course, because the majority of Arsenal fans agreed with us.

I want to be part of the trickle club!

And I thought I was the clever soul who invented the word, Cashley. Poo and Pants. Oh well.. At least he’s in the right section.

Now onto the nicer article..

First up, Shay Given is fit. I forgot that fact.

Second up.. Bastard.

Having a viking's name, Olof has clearly decided he's going to have a viking's beard. It's ginger, it's unruly and - wonderfully - he plays much better when he has it than when he shaves.

Ginger???? WHAT?!?!?!?!? no.. If you want to see ginger, look at Paul Scholes. Actually don’t, It’ll turn your stomach. And, actually they have it the wrong way around You see, When he scored against Arsenal, (grrr) He had the BEARD! Yet a couple weeks later, a day after a shave, he was the subject of lavish praise from silly Match of the Day people. So there

Cesc, Cecs. Whatever you want to call him..

In a refreshing change for a 19-year-old footballer, most of whom are whining about their wage packet and spending their time out drinking, fighting and pulling Page 3 girls.

That’s because he’s happy enough with myself, mymah, Ros.. (yes, really) And soon, perhaps, Jenni!

I don’t understand this bit about Carpet man though..

Playing for ManYoo for 16 years and not being universally hated is an achievement. Being one of their finest players and still being widely popular is even more impressive.

Um.. no comment...

And the last darling worth mentioning is Kanu..

It’s quite handy him only being 30 minutes down the motorway now but what intrigues me the most is this:

And he has massive, massive feet.

You know what they say about shoe sizes.. hmm..

It rained in Birmingham tonight.

OK, rain is a slight understatement. Lets call it a torrential downpour.

All over my Bastard.

Now, if only the cameramen would concentrate a little less on Gareth Barry and a little more on him, the world would such a nicer place..

Thanks again to Cazza for the source

I read on the BBC website (can't link it because I'm on a weird PC and can't copy and paste!) that the Wisla Krakow defender accused of racism against Blackburn's (very fit) Benni McCarthy has vociferously denied it. He says they were swearing at each other all night, and that Benni hit him, and "even poked his tongue out at him"!

Someone find me a piccie of Benni NOT poking his tongue out in any way, and I'll take this seriously, It's what he does...

Also, never trust a Mijailovic, or a Mihaijlovic, not to be racist

The UEFA person in charge of this investigation is called William Gaillard. Doesn't he play for Arsenal?!

And I can't post a piccie because I can't figure out where the right click equivalent is on a laptop! Monday I will edit. If, however, you can't wait that long, Google Image him. He's lovely Or, if Cazza sees this first, maybe she can edit it?

God bless, Jenni xx

Hellraising movie babe Lindsay Lohan and clean-cut footballer Thierry Henry made an odd couple at a fashion party in Paris.

Full article here

Thanks to Cazza for leading me to the source of all these!

Many things happened which I didn't know about, i.e.:

The following people looked cute(r than ever).

Vieira got elastic put in his knees before the game.

He also had his shorts partly removed by Figo.

Poor Thierry fell on the ground!

And Zizou made friends.

All in all, it was a grand day out.

God bless, Jenni xx

Congratulations, Thierry.. you’ve lost the plot.

Thierry Henry has backed David Beckham for an England recall, comparing the Real Madrid star to Zinedine Zidane.

Only because they’ve both played for Real Madrid I hope!

"Steve McClaren has a very difficult job. One of the most of the most difficult jobs in the world. But David is a great player and a great guy,"

Um.. Thierry, David Seaman has retired.. That’s why McLaren hasn’t included him in his England squads.. (honestly.. some people are so slow aren’t they..)

Henry and Beckham were rivals during the Englishman's time at Manchester United, but the Arsenal man says the two have developed a friendship.

I have just one word for that, EW!

Jenni, warn your sister that Thierry needs a lot of showers.

I wonder whether Beckscum will headbutt during his last game before retirement, Then the Zizou likeness will be complete.

(Original Article at Eurosport)

Well, yesterday I just wrote a whole article and it got lost because the uni computers are having an "I've got to refresh everything, it's a compulsive disorder, so you can't go back to editing" day. Pah! Thanks to Cazza for most of the content of this article

Anyway. We know more about Zizou's present and future today than we ever have. He's going to become a consultant at Canal Plus. He might go into coaching one day, but not now. He wants to own a club as a challenge. All this can be found in the Guardian, who also quote him as saying Barfhead should go to Chelsea. That had better be an act of sabotage, Zizou...

The Canal Plus thing is great, as it will probably mean him having to look fit in a suit and talk lots. This article opines that he wants to play for an amateur club in Marseilles next year! As Ros rightly pointed out, I'll have to go there. I might stay forever, just to watch those eyes frighten everybody every week for the rest of my life!

I might also marry him and have his babies.

Here is something about Materazzi's book. Is it bad that I wouldn't mind reading a copy?

Take that, you horrible man who did this to my baby!

Oh, and incidentally...

God bless, Jenni xx

Little Cesc Fabregas has signed an 8 year contract with Arsenal.

8 years??

He’s probably the only person in the country who knows what he’ll be doing for the next 8 years then.

Well I know what I’ll be doing.. smiling delightedly every Saturday afternoon for the next 416 weeks.

(Yes, I needed a calculator to work that out!)

There is one depressing thing about all this though.

When his contract runs out.. In 2014, he won’t even be 30!

Whereas I will.

*sigh*

Thierry Henry got booked during Arsenal’s game with CSKA Moscow on Tuesday night.

The ref thought he’d handled before putting the ball in the back of the net.

He didn’t.

Obviously, Henry was extremely angry about it. And "swore" on national TV!

Shocking..

There have been some.. too many.. rumours flying about over the last couple days about Gigi Buffon joining Chelsea to replace the oopsily injured Petr Cech.

Oopsily, meaning it was an accident..! OK Jose?

Anyway.

This cannot happen.

I don’t particularly want to start singing “Buffon was a friend of mine”

Luckily for us, today is mainly about these made up links being, at least partially, made up.

But he still might leave Juve in the summer.

But hopefully he will go somewhere decent. i.e. not Chelsea.

According to one lovely news article which I can’t link to because my PC is being a bitch, Gigi is “honoured” to be linked with Chelsea.

Pah!

I’d love to know what will happen to the poor keeper who Chelsea do sign - and it will happen – Once Petr Cech is fully fit and able to play again.

He’ll become Cudicini the 2nd AKA The world’s greatest bench warmer.

Here is the silly idea I was so indecisive about.

Actually it was Jenni’s idea.

Instead of filling our normal blogs with luscious pics and stories of our ever changing but oh-so many men, we’ll post here instead.

I know most people on our friend’s lists don’t really care about Freddie fighting with Olof Mellberg or how beautiful Paolo Maldini looks in his suits or what Zidane will decide to do now he’s finished headbutting playing football.

But we do.

And others might.

So there.

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